Nightsticks

20 Agosto 2005
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Aaah Aah. Aaah Aaah Aaah Aaaah

The light’s getting brighter, the wind stops, the sun falls, and then, where are we? It’s the precious maintenant!

But then someone appears, coming slowly, she approaches quietly, with the sun behind her back. I can’t se her face. She’s very close and I cannot move. I can barely breathe. She takes my hand, but she does not even look at me. She leads me through the land. We walk across sea, mountain, skies of blue, green and dark. But I do not watch the landscape. I just look at her. I can’t see her face, just its fair hair. We walk not anymore; we just fly towards the stars!

And then… I’m alone, in my own company. I walk along the beach, bare feet over golden sand. The water stops at my heels. She’s not there, but I see her face everywhere. I run to take her hand. Why she’s never there I still don’t understand. It was only fantasy. A dream, a dream within a dream. I’m coming back, alone, within a crowd of people that stood and stared. They’re laughing at me. And then, they’re crawling and crying. But they seem so happy. There’s something lurking in the dark. It is tricking me. Stop that! I run, and run, but it is always there, a shadow in the shadows. I feel its breath in my neck, but when I turn there’s nothing there. I can feel it coming in the air tonight. I hide myself. It seems it likes to play, it is having fun! But not me, I am tired, I feel fooled, but it continues playing with me. It seems it’s getting angry. He wants me to play, but I refuse. Now I can’t see anything. I walk around, blind, expecting to be hit somehow. And then it gets away. I can see again.

Now I am alone again. Completely alone in an unknown place. I sat in the floor, my head between my knees. I’d like to cry but I can’t. Many times I try, but I am completely unable to. I have nothing to do so I began to wander alone, in the empty street, under the shady light of the umbrellas. Don’t ask. Umbrellas. It seems I am at the dock of the bay. I can see the water, but I smell nothing. Then I see an old tinker walking around, taking pieces of trash as if they were magic treasures. And they may be. I began to follow him. Just because I had nothing better to do. He smiles all the time, and when he founds something, he looks at me and winks his eye. And then he goes away.

I am lost again. I think I can hear some kind of hellish chorus. It’s gone. Here it comes again. It fills the air. Now I am terrified, completely scared. A shrouded man appears. And he talks to me. But I can’t understand him. I think he wants me to come along with him. I refuse. He offers me his hand. I can’t see his face. He takes my hand. I stand up and go with him. And suddenly I am alone again. It seems I am where I was supposed to. I am frozen with panic. I do not know if that’s right or wrong. Someone is watching me. I feel eyes looking at me. Everybody is watching at me, but there’s nobody there. I try to shout: “Is there anybody out there?” Although my lips were moving I could not hear what I said. A drop of water is in my hair. It seems is going to rain, but there are no nightsticks to run for cover. It’s raining light. And that’s very unusual. But somehow I feel comfortable. Ant that’s unusual. I can’t see anything but the light. I fell like if I fell off. I feel the world flying through me. Then the speed grows down and I am back on the floor. Where the people is supposed to be. I always am where and what I am supposed to. The space is over, the time is gone, though I‘d have more to say.

No! It can’t be over yet! I will decide it, not you. Run! Run as fast as you can! Hurry! This is losing its meaning!

And then, a castle appears in front of me. It’s coming through the growing like a seed grows. Its gate is open. Open for me. I just walk inside. I appear in the ball room. Mindless puppet couples dance around me a classic waltz. I am on my way. I walk across a corridor between to lines of nutcracker soldiers which were looking nothing with tired eyes. Then a closed door. It is not locked, but seems difficult to open. I push hard. Inside I see a bedroom. On the table a musical box is open, and a ballet dancer goes round as sweet music fills the room. Someone is in the bed. I really try to stop myself but I began to come closer. She’s there, sleeping, dreaming, as if she was to be forever dreaming. I do not know what to do. I only watch. She’s going to wake up. I’d like to hide but I can’t move. She opens her wide eyes and smiles. She does not stand up, she just floats. The window is open and we fly to the infinity blue sky.

This seems too good to be truth. And if something seems that way, it probably is.

And now the credits. As two figures fly along the blue sky, bathed by the sunrise, letters appear in the screen and move from bottom to top. A sweet melody fills the air. You bet it’s the ending theme. People get up, someone starts to talk, the screen became black with white letters…

But the history promises much more turns before it reveals completely the drama.

And then I am alone again, in the dark street, in a windy and wet night. And I hear a voice. I began to run, run, run, run….

Well, I've wrote this, yesterday, just as it was coming. It has but a few orthographical corrections, and it may have many mistakes and errors. Sorry for them. It may be a little too “cute” but was not mi intention. It means nothing, remember that. "SHE" is but as an imaginary figure, it could mean anything; love, death, hope, my dreams embodied…I just don’t know.

So, sorry for write this. I should not publish these things... But it was just to change a little bit.

Carlos

PD.- There's something else, besides what you can easily see. (Use the nightsticks)