A full page of scribbled lines

 So, here we go again. The years is coming to an end, and it is only now that I feel like writing something. Here comes "next year I should write more" and all that stuff. The flip side is that next year should be very easy to write more than basically nothing.

 

  I intended to use this as a creative output, but I am always postponing it. It is better to do things than just consuming them but, in the end, it feels like I am stuck in some kind of loop, and never find the time to change. I have tried many things, some very promising but consistency is my weakness. Everything seems "plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines". Maybe it is time to try some small things and try to stick to them. However, it seems so very true that "life is what happens when you are busy making other plans". 

     I know I am the major culprit of this feeling, but it is not entirely my fault. Modern life is becoming a trap for attention and we have not changed to adapt and resist that.  Also, the world it seems to be transforming into a darker place, and if we are scared it is easier to search solace in the easy things, that are so in reach. And as we get older, and colder we pretend it is alright, but the world is changing so fast that is truly terrifying. 

    Opportunistic people are capitalizing on that for their own benefit, and as they benefit more, the make the world a scarier place which becomes a spiral of doom, where the big fish eats the smaller one and the rich get richer. Capitalism works that way, it only looks after the capital, and does not make long term plans, like herbivores stranded on an island with no predators that end up starving when overpopulation reaches a tipping point. So I would not be surprised if we are end up getting "laid-off", as employees of a company where the directives have an excel that reads red and they making it green by mass lay-offs and they pretend everything to work the same afterwards. 

    I digress,  as always. But I want to keep the flow of letters running with no plan whatsoever and this is what happens when you write the first thing that comes to mind. I do not want this to be half a page of scribbled lines, I want this to be a full page of scribbled lines. 

     I want to get a little bit better, I want to do better than consume. And I probably been feeling like I am not using my time properly for the majority of time since I have this blog or its original incarnation which, by the way, I cannot remember where it was. It was a long time ago, and things that used to be super clear are starting to fade in my memory. Which was never that good. That is a little scary. I remember listening, some years ago, to "Perfect Life" from Steven Wilson's "Hand cannot Erase" (I had to look up the name of the song) and remember thinking that it was impossible to forget almost everything of someone so important. But now, I am starting to believe that is possible. After all, I am so bad with names. I should make a list of everyone new I met because I cannot remember a new name.

    How long is a full page of scribbled lines? I have things to do, and I will try to continue this before it gets published, but I know myself and seems very unlikely. A quick search tells me somewhere between 40 to 50, so I have to keep babbling a little longer. This quick search was the new kind, where IA shows first, and at the end, if it sounds plausible and aligns with what you already believe, you take it for granted and never check everything else. I wonder, I wonder how far this will go, how would it change our lives. I have not many skills, and many of those few that I have I am not sure if they hold any value. Also, it makes up so lazy, taking a lot of mental exercise away from us, that I am afraid we will end up knowing nothing. It is utterly terrifying. Will we be discarded if we are of no use anymore?

    I had the intention to use the blog just for writing some short stories, like the ones in  the label Tell Tale Heart, but I could not figure how to do it. Any story about science fiction that I could came with seems to be old history regarding the current developments. I cannot imagine a future with technology that seems futuristic enough, nor I am being able to  concoct a story to showcase my fears which feels that is not something that has had already happened. Maybe I will try to find some railways for me to do it and try not to think to hard about that.

    Well that is enough. I have things to do and here is my full page of scribbled lines. I hope to write here again soon. We'll see...

 

The best version of Thyself

    In the las post I was talking about the death of music as I knew it. As always that statement was hyperbolic, although it has some truth it. Nor music, nor rock has died, but maybe the traditional rock band formation has. For some 6 decades or so it was so prevalent, so ubiquitous that it seem the real way to make music, at least rock music. But time has passed and it is no longer en vogue. Now music is mainly made in computers, by a couple of artists and big teams of specialists. I think it is not coincidental that there are so many collaborations between singers, because most of the time music is just engineered, fabricated. So it makes sense to make a lot of crossovers and I guess that many times the main force behind the songs of those artists are the same teams of engineers and ghost writers. Anyway, it seems the heyday of the rock band with drummer, bass and guitar are gone. However I guess the older people in the sixties were baffled when they saw the one man backed by a orchestra being replace by the Beatles modeled rock band as the primary source of mainstream music.

     But what does that has to do with anything? Well, simply put, it makes me feel uneasy. I have always been aware that time passes and we grow older. But maybe I was not really aware of how the world changes. Some things evolve, others just disappear. And that includes us. And that happen at any time. We really take many, many things for granted. The first is our own existence in the next few years, but also others' and also things that we forget how important they are, such as freedom, security, health, family. Anything can go away at any time. Even things that we somehow thought that would always be there, even after we died.

  I know that is some quite large leap of logic, from "the music changes" to "everything we know, need and love can disappear before our eyes (including us)" but, well, that is just me, with my obsession to think on the worst case scenario but then ignoring that altogether and never doing anything. So, for a change, what are you going to do about it?

    Well, probably nothing, besides writing about it to free my mind from it and to fill some self-imposed quota. But lately I have been listening to some Philosophy podcast (Philosophize this!) and it seems that many philosophers had theories about what should humans do to become the best version of themselves. I just heard about three philosophers and all three had something to say in that respect. Maybe its just the podcaster, but it made me think that trying to become the best version of yourself is important, very important, something to really think about and struggle to pursue. 

  I know myself, the least persevering person I know, but maybe, just maybe, I can muster the will to try to become a better version of myself during the limited time I have. And what is that better version? I guess it depends on who you ask. Probably I could read a little bit more about it, but many of the characteristics are surely common and evident. I will probably do nothing, but at least this post will be here, and maybe it will inspire someone, maybe even my future self, to do something for once.

 

 

 

Regards.