Well, what I have achieved in that time? Not much and yet, a lot. Or maybe a lot and yet, not much. In the blog? 58 entries, counting this one.
What else have I done? I, for example, did not attend any lectures in the university this decade. I have been working for more than a decade now. Ah the joyous and troubling youth, it is so far now. I have also lived in 4 different houses, counting some few months in my childhood home.
So, professionally it has been a steady pace, with some transitions but with few major changes. On the other hand, personally, I have become a full fledged adult, at least on the outside. I even have a mortgage now. I have found a family. Which now seems pretty normal, but it is, if you think of it, legen- to quote something more than a decade old -dary. A-wesome if you want.
What else? I have traveled some, and I am now much less terrified of traveling, now that I have a little more experience with it. I have met many people, many coworkers, but in fact I really made very few new friends. And I see the old ones very, very sparsely. I have abandoned a lot of hobbies and engaged in very few new ones.
I guess this was probably the decade that changed my way of life the most. The last year of the previous one I started my first job, and that was a change, but in the last decade I got emancipated, founded a family, started parenthood. And yet, now that I am almost two times an adult I feel that I am not responsible enough. That I am just a kid pretending to be an adult. And probably am. All I want to do is play, and that is probably not good enough. More so in the current times.
I think I have changed in many ways, but in other ways I have not changed a lot. For example I think now I am way less shy and have more social skills. I am still a shy person, but not as much I used to be.
And what about the world itself? I do not know, it is hard to judge from the inside, without a vantage point, but I feel more worried now than ten years ago. Of course, my perspective has changed, and now I have the parenthood paranoia etched in my brain, maybe it is just the age difference, but everything seems much more...bleak? I cannot assure it but everything seems to be going in the worst possible direction possible. I don't know, I guess I am just being grumpy, but for example, I fear for the future of the EU. Ten years ago it was a bandwagon everyone wanted to get on. Now it seems it may fail apart. I have never been much into politics, and I guess everything past seems better, but now it seems the more obnoxious, arrogant and tyrannical someone is, the better. I do not know, maybe it is just that I am getting older, and now I have something to protect, so much too lose, which makes me so wary, so fearful. However, the only solution I have is to ignore the world itself entirely, trying to think in more pleasant stuff. Probably this is one of the things I do that is childish.
What else? Does this change in politics could be attributed to social networks? Maybe? I am not really sure, it seems they play a part but I really cannot fathom to which extent. Probably it can be said that they were a major influence this decade, I guess the world would be different without them, but again, I cannot really tell. I cannot even tell if it would be different for the better or for the worse. Maybe the problem is not just the social networks, but our accelerated pace in life, combined with a lot of confirmation bias and superficial reading, which makes us perfect targets for manipulation.
Well, I have not much more time for this, as always, I have not much time for the blog or that kind of stuff, but I cannot leave without an analysis of the blog itself. Surely, this is really old fashioned now. The way to go would be started using twitter, posting a paragraph at a time, without much insight. And then maybe migrating again to the new social network of sorts, although currently I am absolutely clueless about what it could be. No, I rather have my dusty blog, which I can never find a good template for, with my only reader, to pour half an hour to an hour of scrambled words once or twice a year. And sometimes in English, why in English? I don't know, it certainly is harder, at least now that my English is getting rusty. Maybe it is just a nod to my older self, maybe it is more interesting this way. Maybe it is more interesting, or I feel it more cryptic. I do not know.
To give some little number, in the past year I have published 58 posts. 5 posts in 10 years, some of them a pragraph long. Not a copious creative output, indeed. But I still want to write from time to time. I want to keep using it.
Well time to close. Probably I have been sounding very negative, but the truth is that I have been very happy this last decade. I had everything I really wanted. The only thing I want for the future is for it not to take any of that away from me. And if possible, to play some games from time to time. Please, 2020's, do not screw it up.
